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Myself crave insights from people about handling midlife challenges, including existential reckonings, diminishing importance, developing a neck akin to a surrealist painting and a newfound passion about property shows. Most recently, I discovered his remarks about hitting fifty in an interview: “I think if you’re going to have a good go at the second half of your life, you have to edit away all the noise,” he said. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

Initially, I wondered: isn’t this contradictory about evading pessimists and honing one’s rejection skills? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I get it – such remarks define us negative types, and yes, I’m one of them. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Do you see yourself in gloomy figures; has a spiritual reader mentioned your vibe is murky?

Should this ring true, welcome to the club, and it’s fine. Despite a whole self-help-inspired trend urging people to get rid of friends who “drain” them, I’d argue we offer real value. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.